1.30.2008

How To Be a Nut

Without going into it too much, because honestly, who gives a shit:
Sure. I wish I was thinner.
I feel very healthy, I know I'm very strong, but I wish I was thinner.

Sometimes I think I would be a more successful actress if I were. What with the skinny ladies in the media and all.

Sometimes, I come home and find a random catalogue in the mail. I really like catalogues. A lot. I never order from them, but I loooooove looking through them.

Today: Peruvian Connections. A predictably ridiculous catalogue about .. Peru? And ... connecting ... there? With a bunch of overpriced crap you would never wear if you actually went to Peru, which, chances are, you won't.

Then, just when I was getting on my soapbox about an all-white-models catalogue CALLED Peruvian Connections, I saw THIS model.
Sometimes, I hear the statistics on how many girls struggle with eating disorders and with really, truly hating their bodies because when you're 11, you believe magazines. You think you should ACTUALLY look like that. This makes me really angry. This gets me going on something that is a whole other post which is about being a lady and what that means and don't even get me started on the two weeks I spent in Egypt when I wasn't permitted to leave the house without a male escort and multiple layers of fashion statements from Amish Connections.

So I called the 800 number.
And I pressed the right numbers to talk to a person.
And I asked her to look at the picture on the left (either one would have done).

Then I told her I thought that model looked FREAKY skinny, it was unhealthy and an irresponsible image to promote. I told her I understood it wasn't her decision, she didn't personally book this model or have anything to do with it, but to please pass it on to her supervisor: that I wanted my name removed from their list immediately because they were using too-thin models.

I was nice. I'm always nice. Well, less so as I get older. But still.

This girl thought I was a Fuh. Reak. Ing. Nutty nut job.

But here's my dream:
Week 1:
Sales person Judy: You'll never believe this. Some nutjob called to unsubscribe because one of the models was too thin.
Sales person Allison: OMG. What a nut. Probably a lezzy.

Week 4:
Sales person Jen: You'll never believe this. Some nutjob called to unsubscribe because one of the models was too thin.
Salesperson Trina: OMG, shut UP. I had one of those calls a few days ago.

Week 18:
Sales person Heather: You'll never believe this. Some nutjob called to unsubscribe because one of the models was too thin.
Sales person Geoff: Yeah, I get a couple of those a week.

Week 38:
Executive Susan: Alright, people, the next catalogue needs to feature healthier-looking models. We're getting unsubscribes for that real skinny one who did the Peruvian Bay: The Regrets Collection look.

Week 52:
Skinny skinny model: Gee, I'm not getting booked. I should start eating some peanut butter and dairy products, and start a foundation to work with girls about self-esteem issues and being proud of their bodies AND their minds.

AND THAT IS HOW WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD! SUCCESS, BITCHES!

See? I love catalogues.



4 comments:

Ryan said...

I totally agree with you about female body image, and catalogs and whatnot. You are righter than right.

As someone who has worked a lot of inbound phones, however, write a letter to the management and don't take it out on phone person.

Honestly? They just want to make their $8 or $10 an hour, and go home.

You might as well lecture to a free standing mailbox about how the post office loses your mail. It's as effective.

Lacy said...

You're right, you're right. I should just write a letter. Maybe I will since I am NOT GOING TO COLORADO AS PLANNED THANKS SNOW.

...More on that later.

I REALLY want to stress, though, I didn't take anything out on her.
I just explained why I was calling and gave her my source code and stuff. We even joked a little about my address.

Then I told her she had no right to call herself a woman.

Ryan said...

also, i only date women who wear size zero.

chris said...

Damn you, Ryan. Beat me to it.