one day, honey.

Today after rehearsal, 500 clown badass and heartthrob Molly Brennan told me about a comedienne she had heard telling a story.

This woman had just landed a part in a movie. Not an enormous part, but a part! In a big movie! So she calls her mom and tells her the great news and her mom says, "oh, sweetie. You know... I just know all this hard work is going to pay off for you. Some day."


No matter how many times I tell people, I don't WANT to be famous, I don't WANT to be a movie star... every time I book a big job or do something I'm proud of, it's 'well, maybe that will lead somewhere for you!'

No, see, this is where I want to be.

'RIGHT! Just focus on the present! But don't give up! You never know...'

No. no. See, I don't want to live in Los Angeles. I hate LA and I hate New York. I would never want to deal with being famous. And I've never wanted to be rich because I have some serious guilt issues about money. I like being a normal person and having a normal life while being able to work in the field I truly LOVE and THAT I AM GOOD AT.

'Mm hm. But maybe you'll finally Make It!'

Yeah. Sure. Maybe.
Maybe some day all YOUR work will pay off, and you'll get a REAL job.
At a REAL law firm.


Ryan said...

That was a great blog entry.

Someday, this blog is going to be a big hit in the community.

Molly said...

Success. This morning, I ate some delicious French Toast, because Wisco, the welding store on Western, doesn't open until 7:30. I get up at ass-thirty every morning, and still become bewildered that nothing is open at 6 a.m. except breakfast places. Which is actually awesome. I love breakfast. Anyway, David and I got some face shields and pliers, because we're learning to weld and I think I'll be welding in the new 500 Clown show, Brecht's A Man's a Man. Today I'll be going over my Barrel of Monkeys notes for the school show I'm directing that stars the Lovely Lacy. I'll also follow up with my partner Paul about some touring info for 500. I need to go over the verbage for the 500 Clown External Packet. I'm also going to work on my RISKwear sewing shop. I just got four new worktables for my machines and so forth. Tonight I'll be teaching a 500 Clown Risk and Play Class.
Am I successful? I feel like I have a lot of exciting things to do today. It's all stuff I want to do. And I ate a delicious breakfast with my boyfriend. And I have a really nice dog. Yeah, I'm successful.
Do I have fantasies about the Oscars? I don't do film, but if I did, and if I did have a chance to attend some flashy awards show, I'd love to ride up on my bicycle with my gown and shoes stuffed in my saddle bags and carry my bike into the building after changing clothes on the red carpet. That would be awesome.

Lacy said...

I am looking for a better way to say this, but I also think: there is a balance in success between being satisfied and always challenging yourself because you want just a little bit more.

pinkhairedvalkyrie said...

lacy, you are drop-dead gorgeous and extremely talented. don't give up on your dreams! one day, you'll make it. i see you opposite colin forth in a jane austen. DON'T GIVE UP!!!

Jeremy said...

This sketch always stuck with me.



Lacy said...

Jeremy, that sketch is so appropriate it's creepy.