i had a wonderful and successful day today.

...but that isn't really the point of this post.

I ran into my friend Dan today.

The last time I really talked to him, he was GLOWING. His comedy group had been singled out, picked up and flown out to New York. They met with William Morris. They met with Comedy Central. They had big meetings with big people and big things were happening.

Then, as it turns out, their group was too big. I mean... things are still (hopefully) POSSIBLY happening, I mean, it isn't a lost cause by any means. But ... they aren't in New York. They aren't busy writing for their new TV series. Dan was a reader with me at an audition (just as adept at Shakespeare as comedy; he's an amazing guy and quite the looker, gal pals) and has a job in retail. That William Morris did NOT arrange for him.

Things get big so quick. It's easy to feel like you're a big deal because, well, you ARE. ... for a minute or two. Then it changes. It goes away. Another friend landed the LEAD!!! in a NETWORK PILOT!!! shooting here in Chicago! and everyone was dizzy, I mean SO happy and SO excited for her. It didn't get picked up. Now she's looking to move to LA and start bartending again, which she hasn't had to do for a long time.

No career ladder here. No security, no future. And no sense getting yourself all worked up over a success or a failure that's just going to come out in the wash later on.

My play got a good review and then a bad review (both from papers I never read).

I was passed over for an audition, then ended up getting it anyway (for reasons I still don't understand -beyond a few UTTERLY paranoid theories).

I had a great callback for a persnickety director for a national commercial for a thoroughly embarrassing product.

When I was younger, I loved the roller coaster of excitement, the absolute joy of the accomplishments and the nervous poops before the big auditions. Now, I am FIVE YEARS OLDER and have accrued ...just ...a WHOOOOOLLLE bunch of wisdom. Wait. What the hell am i saying?
This day has been long. It was a good day. I felt like I knew a thing or two about acting. I bought a new pair of sunglasses and I drove my car around the city with the windows rolled down.


Rachel Wilson said...

Yay! Congrats! I'm thinking rolling down my windows might change my life.

finalgirl said...

i did the same thing. it changes everything.

i'm glad you had a good day.

i did too.