(Brandon leaves for work. Cat and I stare at each other.)

Cat: So... you're still here? Again? What do you do, exactly?

Me: I'm a full-time actor. Remember?

Cat: Oh, yeah. (pause) Then shouldn't you be acting somewhere?

Me: Well, remember, I had an audition yesterday.

Cat: That didn't take very long.

Me: No. It sure didn't.

Cat: Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the fact that you spent this week doing your taxes and cleaning your apartment and even helping Brandon out at his theater. But I'm starting to get creeped out by how much you talk to me.

(a tense moment ensues)

Me: If you were a dog, like I really wanted, we wouldn't have this problem.

Cat: You don't have time for a dog, remember?


Corrbette said...

Just think how much crazier this would sound if you had more than one cat. Trust me when I say I know this for a fact.

Lacy said...

I heard a rumor that you have 5 cats in a 2-bedroom apartment. Please tell me this is true.

finalgirl said...

i heart this post. a lot. i laugh.

here's my take: