I do not feel successful at all lately. In fact, I feel rotten, angry, and disgusted with myself. I had three big opportunities in the last three weeks. I blew all of them.
I can't argue the logic of when I feel successful or why I should. I guess that's why I started this blog.
I know that I should find a rubric for success that is entirely separate from the utterly random and whimsical process of getting cast in projects.
This is my new job. task. goal. thing.
Last night I was lying in bed, trying to sift through Things. I was so frustrated and dejected that I was not even paying attention to the cat snuggled against my neck and purring in my ear, or my boyfriend next to me, breathing peacefully and holding on to my arm as he slept.