4.29.2008

consumer profiles

So, in a couple of months I'll be taking a rather lengthy trip to South America. Apparently, for this trip, I will need a pair of comfortable yet durable waterproof sandals.

Sure, no problem.

I know of some shoes that are comfortable, durable, and waterproof. I mean, I'd normally never get these shoes, but there's no reason NOT to, i mean, if they're FUNCTIONAL, that's what matters. Right? ...?

And that is how I found myself the owner of:
This is my pair. (really? I own a pair of crocs? No I don't.)
It feels strange to say, like "my prostate," or "my quarterhorses." These are things I just don't formulate in first-person possessive sentences.

"My parking space at the embassy."
Nope.
"My unfolded laundry."
Yes.
"My hair relaxing kit."
No.

And I looked at the damn things, put them on and took them off about a dozen times, caught NO END OF FLACK from Brandon about them, defended them, and ACTUALLY HEARD MYSELF SAY TO A FRIEND, "Yeah... (petulant sigh) I just don't know if I'm a Crocs person."

Terrible.
What am I becoming.
So the thing is, it turns out: I can't do it. I have to take them back. Instead I bought the only other comfortable yet durable waterproof sandal I can think of, which I have probably made fun of EVEN MORE than I have made fun of Crocs in my lifetime:
although I think I have to start listening to Phish now, which is really going to be tough for me. Great. I own Tevas. And to make it worse, I've been trying to play more acoustic guitar lately.

Crap.
Getting married is making me lamer by the day.

6 comments:

Chris said...

I just wanted to write and say there's nothing lame about the sandals you ended up with. In this case though, I'm not gonna get what I want.

(But, at least you can safely ride escalators. ... In the jungle.)

nora said...

Yikkes. You're right both choices are kind of lame. When I first started reading I thought "at least she picked the Mary-Jane version of the Crocs."
I need to let go of my distain of peoples shoe choices. I walked around Ireland in cool black Mary-Jane Danskos. I was looking enviously at my traveling companions wearing their white tennis shoes, just wishing I could do it.
Wear the Tevas, play guitar and get married. Just don't start doing the twirly dance.

Lacy said...

Nora, I'm so glad you get it. Right - No twirly dancing and DEFINITELY NO INDIGO GIRLS.

DinaBear said...

The best, most wonderful waterproof sandles I have ever owned are made by KEEN. In fact, I love them so much despite their sporty-ness that I wear them practically everyday in the summer. In fact, I am such a geeked out KEEN lover that I started wearing my KEEN sandles the moment the thermostat hit 65 degrees.

I highly, highly recommend them.

You can find them at Alamo shoes, or online, just google KEEN sports sandles.

I also think they are cuter, if not less Phish-like, than Tevas.

Urraca said...

Lacy,

As a friend of yours, i want to say:

STOP.

JUST STOP THIS.

You shouldn't be going ANYWHERE near footwear like this. This may sound like gay tyranny, and IT IS.

I AM TROUBLED.

I DON'T WANT TO FEEL TROUBLED. I WANT TO KNOW THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT. THIS POST TELLS ME THEY'RE NOT.

I love you.

Corrbette said...

I think success is now defined by how many people went into an uproar WITH you over your footwear. If nothing else, you clearly have our rapt attention. And yes, they're both ugly as sin. But so are blisters.