ESPECIALLY if you have spent the last three years testing the ABSOLUTE LIMITS of their patience by unabashedly living in sin in a faraway city.
...This may actually be the thing that saves my relationship with my mom. Or, just makes me finally strangle her with a piece of loud costume jewelry from Pier 1. You never know.
I explained the plan to mom: Tiny ceremony in my grandparents' back yard. In Texas.
Mom: So what are your colors going to be?
Me: Oh. Well ... I mean, there's going to be, like, 6 people there. I'm not picking colors.
Mom: Well. (pause) What about a caterer?
Me: I was actually just hoping we could all go out for a nice dinner afterwards.
Mom: (thinks of most popular restaurant in nearest town: )
Me: You know what, let's come back to that part later.