Me: Wow, great job, body! A 22-mile bike ride, downtown and back!
Body: I cannot move. Also, I hate you.
Me: That was GREAT. And there's time to do some pilates, too.
Body: You said it would be warm. It wasn't warm. It was 48 degrees, and there was wind.
Me: Hey, listen: good job not pushing for speed, just keeping a steady pace.
Body: I would really like a lot of cheese and/or sugar right now.
Me: I know, and I'm trying very hard to ignore that. Here, have some more water---
Body: YOU DID NOT DRESS ME PROPERLY. THAT IS WHY YOU STILL CANNOT FEEL YOUR FINGERS AFTER BEING HOME FOR 45 MINUTES.
Me: Man, you are fussy.
Body: Glass of red wine and hot shower if you want to enjoy the rest of your day.