Me: Wow. All hail the mighty warrior. How you doin, champ?
Body: ... Am I ... dead?
Me: No, although you started blacking out at one point. Luckily the ensuing wave of nausea was enough to revive you.
Body: Did ...I ...kill it? The thing that ...?
Me: You must have. You know... I would say that was food poisoning, but food poisoning is a walk in the park compared to the past 36 hours. And Brandon and I haven't eaten together in days, and he came down with it first. So it must have been the world's worst stomach bug or something.
Body: Glllrrrrg. Too much talking.
Me: Sorry, champ. You've been through a lot.
Body: Sleep. Sleep and gatorade. PAIN!
Me: Okay. Okay. (pause. sigh) I wish Tim Russert were here to wipe our forehead with a wet washcloth. And read us political commentary until we fell asleep.
Body: sleep. PAIN!!!!! ... sleep.