please do not be creeped out. okay? Don't be creeped out.
you just seem SO FAMILIAR. Is it Arnie? Do you know Arnie? Everyone knows Arnie, so I'm just thinking, maybe that's it and I've seen you on his blog? But I didn't want to just ASK YOU THAT, which is weird, hey, do you know a guy named Arnie? Oh, no? Oh. Well. (LONG BAD SILENCE)
So, just hear me out, I googled you because it's a small community and I just figured that if I googled YOUR NAME and CHICAGO THEATER, bink, a very explanatory link would pop up and I'd be like OHHHHH he's in THIS theater company so I saw him in THAT PLAY and I probably ended up hanging out with him at a bar because we know THAT PERSON IN COMMON.
And then, okay possible misstep here, I admitted to googling you because it just seemed more direct to be like, 'well i'll be totally honest and ha ha creepy! ha ha! I googled you to try to figure out where I know you from,' [and now I know that we both know Thea, but, that's not it] I still know you from somewhere else, or maybe you just remind me of some composites of other people I think I know better than I actually do. Also I think I creeped you out a bit.
Also I am NOT TRYING TO HIT ON YOU because obviously we're both married. I mean, well duh, we ARE, INDIVIDUALLY, AND we're pretending to be married. In the film. Which is why there's a whole scene about me tickling your balls, which we have now practiced a LOT, thanks a lot, Director guy.
And it probably isn't creepy at all to pretend to have your balls tickled by a married woman who admitted to looking you up on the Internet.
And now writes about you on her blog.
Great. See you next rehearsal.