Hi, this message is for Lacy? Lacy, this is INTERN calling from FANCY MULTIMILLIONDOLLAR THEATER COMPANY, and we're calling you with an audition.
This audition is for SHOW YOU HAVE UNDERSTUDIED TWICE AT THIS THEATER, for the role of ROLE YOU HAVE UNDERSTUDIED TWICE AND PERFORMED TWO WEEKS OF.
Your audition is at INCONVENIENT TIME at THOROUGHLY INCONVENIENT LOCATION. Please call us back to confirm and give us your email address WHICH WE HAVE HAD ON FILE FOR YEARS so we can email you the SIDES YOU AUDITIONED WITH BEFORE. BOTH TIMES.
WHAT CAN WE SAY, WE JUST LOVE TO SEE YOU AUDITION. AGAIN AND AGAIN.