12.06.2008

anxiety dreams.

I've been waking up a lot lately, dreaming that mildly awkward and dumb things I've done were career-ending episodes of utter idiocy.

Instead of the awake, logical mind groggily waking up, putting on its glasses, and pointing out that no, we are not walking from Kentucky to Chicago so you'll make it to the workshop on time, it has to admit that the awkward and dumb thing DID in fact happen.

All my logical mind can come up with to comfort me is to tell me that it's done now, nothing to do about changing it (you complete moron), go back to the sleep you don't really deserve if you're going to say such stupid things to people.

I lie awake more, cursing my awkwardness, then dream more about not having the right light bulbs to replace the ones I've burned out in my aunt's house.

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