11.03.2009

struggle

Hi friends.
I have a small struggle.
It's not so big.

It's sort of private.
And it's probably pretty petty.

I did my first gig with this theater company 8 years ago.  I've stuck around and always been part of their hijinx, because I love what they do.  They're my second favorite, after my actual theater company.  They have kept me around, and had me do stuff, or not, or then, well, I don't know. We do gigs here in town, then in other places like California and Arizona and Michigan (and again, we're talking 8 years of working together) and I think they like me, but then, they went and got this gig:

_____ Theater part of White House Halloween 

and no Lacy.
and I am JEEAAALLOUS out the wazzoo.

Jealousy doesn't do you any good, okay?
I should just be happy for those who went.
I am 60% happy, 40% bitterly jealous.
I am struggling to change those percentiles. Like, to 98% happy for my friends
cousins, 2% wistfully jealous, 0% bitterly jealous.


I am really struggling not to take it personally.


dammit, dammit, dammit, this fucking job, I'll tell you.

2 comments:

Alex said...

"You know what your problem is? You were never happy for the people who had what you wanted, just sad for yourself because you didn't."

Who said that? BAM! That's a REALITY ATTACK!!

P.S. You are great and couldn't have gone to the White House thing anyway cause of the Celtic wedding in Portland and the Invited Preview tonight.

You're good.

You're totally good!

DinaBear said...

I'm totally green with envy, and I've never worked with Redmoon! Damn them for going to White House! Don't they know how much I love Barack Obama?! Don't feel bad for feeling jealous. It's completely natural. And I really wish you got to go, if only so you could tell me what it was like.