4.21.2010

Generals

Generals.
General auditions happen once a year. Each theater company holds their own set, and they usually ask for two contrasting monologues.  I challenge you to find me a single actor who ENJOYS doing monologues.

BOOM POW POW POW!!!! LIGHT SHOW! THUNDER!!!
WHA?????




Greetings, young orator! 
It is, I, Demosthenes (384 BC 322 BC), generally considered the greatest of the Attic orators. 

Hey Demosthenes.  I'm going to ignore how annoyed I am by all the stuff you accomplished by age 20 and just get right to it: MONOLOGUES.  Man, I hate them. How did you get so good at them?

THUNDER! THUNDER SMOKE!

I was orphaned at a tender young age, and my guardians squandered my entire inheritance.  Eloquent and persuasive speech was the only way I was going to get my paper, you heard?

Amazing, Demosthenes. You still know how to talk to the current generation.

LIGHTNINGFLASH!

I'm just saying it was a matter of survival, not a half-hearted wish to make $500 a week.

but... I'm following my dreams?

LASER LIGHTS! RUMBLE SEATS ACTIVATE!

I think we both know that these kinds of shows aren't your dream, Lacy. They are jobs, and good jobs, and ways to gain status and admiration from your peers.  But adaptations of Jane Austen novels in the Northern suburbs are not your dreams.  Your dreams are bigger.   And waaaaay less marketable. 

True dat, Demosthenes. True dat.

BAM! KABOOM KABOOM! HELICOPTER SOUNDS!!!!

Demosthenes out. 




Just pointing this out: Demosthenes was NOT an actor.

4 comments:

Genevra said...

I love you, Lacy. BAM.

Andy Bayiates said...

heard that

Lacy said...

aw shucks. Y'all both cue my smoke machine and gobos every time. and also my greek orators.

Rudra said...

i am in awe.