4.15.2010

the wisdom of insecurity, part 78 of 91894

hang on, this is a long one.

I used to carpool to work with an actor who was otherwise a really sweet guy, but was a SERIOUS dick about exactly one thing:

parking attendants.

Specifically, the parking attendants in the very large tourist trap that houses the theater where we worked.

SOOO mean. So derisive. "what a waste of space" and "stupid fucking jackasses" "lazy assholes, they don't even deserve a job."

OMG and srsly? and why? WHY? Here's my best theory: I think it was because they are bossy (understandably, since 99.9% of the motorists there have no idea where they are going, but show up in frighteningly large numbers and ALL IN SUVs) but this actor, he KNEW where he was going and didn't like getting bossed.

Yeah.
Well.
Grow the fuck up or get over it or whatever. We all get bossed. Deal.

So.
As it so happens, this actor got awfully drunk at the closing party of our show. I drove him home, but even the ride through the parking garage was too much and he grunted at me to stop the car so he could open the door, lean out and heave out his stomach like a 16-year-old on homecoming night... at the feet of a parking attendant.

I am sorry he got sick.
But it was kind of awesome.

I wish he had been sober enough to register what was happening.

This is part of the wisdom of insecurity.
This is why you shouldn't call people assholes like it's a bad thing.
You are an asshole too.

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