I planned this poorly.

This is a pretty lousy post to put this blog on pause, but, well, I'm leaving for Thailand in a few hours.
I'll check you in August.
Stay gold.


boss bossa

My cousins are getting married tomorrow and invited all the guests to be the wedding band.

So I said hey Brandon.  You wanna play sax and I'll sing this song?

So we got our cousin (who is an amazing professional musician) to play that and another bossa nova standard with us.  I stressed it all week. Finally Brandon said*: you are not allowed to be insecure about your voice this weekend.  Being insecure is not going to help you.  It will not make you sound better or have more fun.  So no more. 

Last night I made dinner and we had FOR REALS BAND PRACTICE.  I was a singer at a FOR REALS BAND PRACTICE.  Guitar, sax, vocals.  And it sounded just lovely.

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.  I wish we could have just gone all night. I can't wait for tomorrow.

*after I asked him for the 37th time if he would tell me if I sounded terrible


also do not underestimate the depth of my hypocrisy!

Now I'm asking YOU to please, please vote for my theater company to win a half-million dollars.

We teach creative writing workshops in severely underfunded (and, soon, 35-kids-to-a-classroom) Chicago Public Schools.   In some cases we're the only arts programming the kids have.  You want a mission statement, tough guy? I got your mission statement right here.

Mission Statement

Barrel of Monkeys (BOM) is an ensemble of actor/educators who create an alternative learning environment in which children share their personal voices and celebrate the power of their imaginations. BOM accomplishes this through creative writing workshops and in-school performances of children's stories. BOM also engages the broader community in support of the visions of children through public performances of their work.

We teach self-expression, promote literacy, boost self-esteem and rock some communication skills.  It's good.  Will you vote for us?

Vote here.

Also, if you do, I'm casting you in my next show, where we perform something as rewarding as this:

'cause I think you. have got. IT.


I'm going on a trip.

I know this will come as a blow, since I've been SO DILIGENT about posting for the past few months in particular, but..
I'm going to be gone for a month.  Backpacking through Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia.  It's going to make me a better person! WHEEEE!

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”

Also? Sometimes you lose weight. Score. Thanks for the quote, Mark Twain.


Mark Twain: You're welcome, Lacy!  Are you packed?

Me: Whoa! Hey, Mark Twain!  ...Or, should I say, Samuel Clemens?  ...Or, should I say, Hal Holbrook?

Mark Twain:  You just love that joke, don't you?


Hal Holbrook: Laugh it up, sucker, no one's going to make a career playing you in one-woman shows long after YOU'RE dead.

Me: SPEAKING OF FUN TRIPS, look at my totally rad international vaccination card!

do not underestimate the depth of my resentment

Dear Theater Company:

After I spend 3 hours auditioning (read: waiting to audition) for a role that you do not cast me in,
do not ask me to go to a website, register my name and email, and vote for you to get a lot of money.

I am just not that nice.


ps. I mean come ON.  


man, do I love this story.

Sir Ian McKellen Mistaken For A Tramp While Taking A Break Outside Rehearsals For Waiting For Godot

Alexander Technique? More like Alexander TechNOPE.

For the first time in my life, I qualified for the SAG deluxe insurance plan.  

You have to earn a certain amount within one calendar year to qualify.  Holy moly, I finally earned enough.  I WIN.  I WIN ...an insurance plan I don't need since we're covered far more reliably by Brandon's work.

But! I did think it was worth pointing out a few interesting tidbits about the Screen Actors Guild health insurance plan.  For example: right off the bat, they want you to know not to try any of your newfangled voodoo newage bullshit hijinks.

And check out the last sentence in this one:

No Feldenkreis. No Rolfing. In short, most of my BFA acting curriculum is not eligible for coverage (even if Emerson College had been in-network). 

It's not a terrible plan, though.  Robert Downey, Jr. and I were both pleased to discover that the mental health and chemical dependency coverage is quite generous.

Presumably sober actors in therapy don't try to file claims for the don't-even-ask plastic surgeries listed on pages 34 - 47.


good work if you can get it

Not too long before he died, I was with my grandfather in his backyard.  We saw my grandmother walking out from the house to come talk to us, and he looked at me and said with uncharacteristic gravity:   Lacy, I want to tell you something. I love your grandmother more every single day.  And I don't mean every week or every year. I'm telling you, every single day my love for her grows.
By the look on his face and the tone of his voice, he seemed overwhelmed by it, like he didn't know how to explain it to me or to himself. 

I got married in that backyard. Two years ago today, actually.

So two years ago, our marriage became the most important thing in my life. Officially demoted: money, friends, auditions, weight obsessions and high-profile theater projects. My first priority and my #1 Job In Life became: love. 
My job is love.
The way to do my job well is to love more every single day.

Not that I'm always successful at it, but if my perpetual goal is to love as much as I can and then love even more, surely that's a good way to live.
Congratulations to my cousins getting married this month, next month, this fall.  Your job is love.  Work hard.


further perils of a life of acting (for you, Chloe)

As if poverty, instability, egomania and liver damage weren't enough:

ASPEN, Colo. — Attorneys for Charlie Sheen have approached a Colorado nonprofit theater about having the actor do public service work as part of a plea deal in his domestic violence case, the theater's artistic director said Friday.
...now you're dumping abusive husbands off on us????

Or at least buy a season subscription first! GAWD!

And YOU KNOW he's going to hit on the interns. Pun not intended.

And of course this would be the show that you're like: oh geez, I just don't know that I'm comfortable doing all this stage combat opposite Charlie freaking Sheen, but I really could use the gig.  (pause) and it's a good part. (pause) well, it would get a ton of publicity. (pause) OMG PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE LET ME GET IT
Sheen's duties, if the deal is approved, would include teaching a class and helping with Theatre Aspen's three summer shows, Paige Price said.
Make the fucker do prop design.  HAHAHA.