9.20.2010

mascot rage

I've done some mascotting in my time.

Let's just say that people treat you differently when you are dressed as a completely anonymous gigantic costumed character with no face.  or a fake face.   People walk up to you and punch you.

let me repeat that.

Grown men walk up to you and punch you.

But this isn't about that. This is about this:

Rufus the Bobcat suffers lifetime ban for brazen attack on Brutus Buckeye

Rufusattack04.jpgDuring my famed tenure* as Mr. Bronco, our high school mascot, I would often go over to the other team's sideline [in my gigantic jumpsuit of brown fake fur with a 3-foot-tall horse head] to do a skit or two with the other mascot.  Here is the basic script:
1. Mr. Bronco and other mascot get in a slapsticky fight involving a wacky prop.
2a. If we are at the other team's sideline, Mr. Bronco loses fantastically.
2b. If we are at Mr. Bronco's team's sideline, the other mascot loses fantastically.
3. The end.

I know what you're thinking, and yes, in many ways it IS reminiscent of Stanislavsky's early work. Anyway.

One day I go over to their side to propose this Formula For Entertainment Gold to the other mascot.  We chat. it's fine. Their school flag happens to be there. I accidentally step on it.

People respond.  I back off and apologize, not there to put on a show, just trying to talk to the mascot about timing and stuff.

But something made me STEP ON THAT FLAG AGAIN.

AND AGAIN.  The only time that any shadow of disapproval has actually fired me up with some crazy adrenaline. Suddenly there was a lot of disapproval. And some pissed off male cheerleaders.
AND I DID IT AGAIN.
AND THEN I BECAME THIS GUY:



I still can't tell you what took over me, but something really, really did.  I was representing my school (which I hated. WHAT?). And I felt it was my duty to make this absolute stupid point, completely outnumbered, in enemy territory, in a way that no one from my side would ever even KNOW about.  Man it was weird. Man it was stupid.

So I just want to say, Rufus the Bobcat, that Mr. Bronco understands.  Mr. Bronco has been there.  And if your path is anything like mine, you will go on some meds to moderate your moods, move to the East coast to study theater and get some distance from your family.

It's gonna be okay, Rufus.

*I was a good mascot. for reals. 

2 comments:

Rachel Wilson said...

That was amazing. I am so happy to know you were a Mr. Bronco.

Ashley said...

Never a mascot but I once donned a mascot costume (big head an all) and walked around my company for a few hours, handing out ice cream to get people excited about donating to the annual United Way campaign.

Oh, the sweat.